I haven't posted in a while, so I just thought I would post a little something today. I have so much to say right now...and I was going to hold off, but I just have to get it off my chest, so be prepared for a rant. Don't worry though, there will be pretty pictures of something I made after the rant!
It has to do with direction and/or focus.
Here goes; buckle in and come for a ride!
Oh, and if you read this whole thing...I love you. Truly. This right here is my heart, just opening all the way up.
If you have looked at my blog/follow it, then you may have noticed that I mention things about school on occasion. Mostly that I don't like it. Not even a little bit. Sometimes I sit in my car and have no intentions of driving to class, but I always break down and do it anyway like a good little girl. I am one of those people that believe college isn't for everyone. Yet I had always believed college was for me. Not that I have huge career aspirations (actually I would love to be either a big time designer or dramatic/over the top actress) but I feel an insane amount of pressure to succeed. To make something out of myself.
Let me give you a bit of background. I come from a large family. I have 7 siblings to be exact. I am number 6 and none of my five older siblings has graduated from college (graduated being the operative word here). My mother got married at 18 and did not attend college. She was always telling me how she wished she had gone. It is not direct pressure, but I just feel this need to get a degree. Not just a degree though, a useful degree, a degree with which I can make an impact on the world. So that is why, when I started college I went into the pre-pharmacy program. Turns out though you need to be good at science...and math. Two things I am not so great at. Sure if I studied for 2-4 hours a day I would be okay, but I have to be honest with myself, that is NEVER going to happen.
There is also another element to this, a catch-22 if you will. Let's say I go to school and get a "useful" degree. One thing I have always desired in my future is to be a wife and mother. If I have kids I want to stay home with them which means I won't be working. So that means all the hours I spent studying and money I spent on an education would be essentially useless (of course I would be smarter, but I am already a pretty intelligent person....test scores have told me so). Plus I feel like others wouldn't see me as a "success" if I just went and got married without having at least an education. Le sigh.
HOWEVER, I think I have discovered a solution (at least partially and in theory)
Do you ever do those personality profile things? Well, I have always been interested in those, and have always known what mine is: ENFP. On the website I was looking at, it's characterized under "Diplomat" (which is pretty funny considering I have been called diplomatic by a few people).
Some quotes from it that resonate with me:
"ENFPs will spend a lot of time exploring social relationships, feelings and ideas before they find something that really rings true. But when they finally do find their place in the world, their imagination, empathy and courage are likely to produce incredible results."
"It's a big world out there - perhaps even a little too big. ENFPs are fascinated by new ideas, both in terms of developments in fields they are already familiar with, and when new subjects come along."
"If there's a challenge ENFPs face when selecting a career, it isn't that they lack talent or options or drive, it's that there are so many things out there that are just cool."
"Find it Difficult to Focus - ENFPs are natural explorers of interpersonal connections and philosophy, but this backfires when what needs to be done is that TPS report sitting right in front of them. It's hard for ENFPs to maintain interest as tasks drift towards routine, administrative matters, and away from broader concepts."
"Independent to a Fault - ENFPs loathe being micromanaged and restrained by heavy-handed rules - they want to be seen as highly independent masters of their own fates, even possessors of an altruistic wisdom that goes beyond draconian law. The challenge for ENFPs is that they live in a world of checks and balances, a pill they are not happy to swallow."
Above information from This Website
I think for me, I would be so much happier in school if I could have my creative outlet; sewing. The trouble is, I have no place do it which adds stress to the situation. If I had a studio where I could create, I honestly think my life would just be better. I need to try and achieve that, then the rest will be gravy. If only money were easier to come by!
Anyway, thanks for reading, I sincerely appreciate it <3
Here is the slip dress I made a while ago as promised
I styled it bridal-y
That lace panel is probably 80 years old! I LOVE it
I think it would be perfect for an altesque bride, or an outdoorsy wedding
The bustle/train is my favorite part
I always used to dislike my grey eyes until I was about 16. Then for some reason I changed my mind and decided they were awesome. Anne Shirley has grey eyes too :)
Hope you are all having a lovely week!
And P.S. if you are interested in the dress, I currently have it listed on Etsy: Slip Dress